The Magic of Mike

Last week, I won tickets from Glamour Magazine to go to the Magic Mike XXL premiere in Leicester Square; and there’s no better opening sentence to anything I’ve ever written. I spent three days deciding how to best go about touching Channing Tatum’s abs without being thrown out. A further three days deciding what to wear. And in total, seven days telling everyone I was a VIP.

On the night, my friend and I met at Leicester Square, amongst screaming girls and lots of noise. Being me, I hadn’t eaten and decided a rumbling stomach was the way to turn up. This was my first ever film premiere and I just wanted to forget that all I could afford to eat that day was a sad lunch I’d made myself. I was absolutely certain that tonight, my fortune would change. But, as I’m great at pretending to be VI but in general, fairly crap at being a P, we queued up to get on to the – white – carpet too early. We both had visions of ourselves floating around the celebs (Channing’s arms) mingling with them and then probably going back for the after party (Channing’s abs). But what actually happened, was that we got on to the carpet, walked for approximately four seconds and then got swept into the cinema by a security man. My moment on the carpet really was just that. A mere blink and you’ll miss it. There were so many flashing cameras and screaming fans that I didn’t even look around, I just focussed on not falling over.

Once we were in, we were immediately told to go through to the screens. Obviously I decided we were too VI to be told what to do and tried to get back out. Told off, we were sent back. (BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A CELEBRITY KATIE) I also tried to get into the bar – with an exceptional blag by my friend, shoutout Ruby Rae – but it didn’t work. The bar was only for the “talent”. As if I needed any more knock backs to my sense of creative skill right now.

Once – reluctantly -we’d sat down, we were treated to a strip dance show  (not even sure what to call it) and although it was outrageously ridiculous it was also preeeeeetty great. The woman in me who normally has a fairly good hold on things, went completely giddy. I couldn’t concentrate. I became concerned about what was to come. I think it was this part of me that shouted “TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF”, when the real life Channing & co came in to give us a little spiel before the film started. It was a very clear, unapologetic demand – not a mere comment. A proud moment; I made sure I didn’t forget to tell my parents what I had achieved.

Now, I just want to confess that I thought the first Magic Mike was definitively Not Good. I think I actually fell asleep. Despite how much I’ve been lusting over Chan (nickname terms now) since the Step Up franchise, I couldn’t even remember what happened in the first Magic film. THIS ONE, however, is honestly one of the greatest things my eyeballs have seen. Don’t take that statement lightheartedly. Even though some of the men in the room left – I think to go and have a little sob in the ladies loos – everyone was glued to the screen. Channing Tatum who plays Mike, just has this thing. Something about him is just far too much. It really is like he’s magic. I definitely don’t believe he’s real even though I saw him in the flesh. Although I previously referred to the cast as ‘Channing & co’, they were by no means left in his shadow. The, by now, infamous scene with Joe Manganiello in the petrol station is deserving of some kind of award. I laughed so much I thought I was going to throw up, spent 99% of the film clutching the arms of my seat trying to control my urges and when the lights came up, I realised my mouth was completely open. I’m not exaggerating ladies: you must go and see this film. But if you do, I recommend taking some sort of ice pack – and don’t go on an empty stomach (if you catch my drift), because a film’s never left me so…hungry.



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